Latest girls' doctor appointments

We recently had our yearly craniofacial team visit for two growing little girls. I decided to take pictures this time since both girls could not remember all the doctors from the team. This is an all day event, which we are thankful to be finished with till next year. This will be H's last time to visit the ENT!! Still waiting to hear what is next for S.


Reading books while waiting
S loves the what's the difference series
H waiting for her turn
checking for any air escape through the nose during speech

Our dearly loved speech pathologist
More waiting.........
ENT: checking the ears always tickles!
more tickles!
Say Ahhh
our ENT friend
gettin silly...more waiting
yes, I'm feelin silly too
*our favorite orthodontist*

Camp!

I spent this past week attending our awesome 1st-4th grade church camp "Changed" with J, Samuel(yes, Jian is sometimes wanting to be called Samuel now!), and H. We had a blast and Samuel experienced many exciting firsts: the most memorable being meeting B*bleman-Samuel's favorite thing here in America.

Craft Time

`J's first day at camp`
*H's first camp experience*



AN UNEXPECTED SURPRISE-B*BLEMAN!

Yes, Samuel did go down that water slide behind him-thanks to all the great counselors!

Swimming(a first)-check-awesome counselor Miles!


Boat Ride(a first)-check

Being a little silly

Craft time again

Snack Time

H

J at lunch

Samuel eating dry Top Ramen for lunch-his favorite

Inflatable obstacle course-check-thanks again to all the great counselors!

J playing volleyball

Samuel playing basketball-check-thank you counselor Jake!




Samuel worked hard to keep up with his teammates and he did amazingly well. I pulled him around in a wagon (still waiting for our wheelchair appointment) and he joined every activity he was able to. The counselors and staff were amazing-always including him and helping him-thank you!! Special thanks to B*bleman, Miles, Dmitry, Lars, Robby and Jake-for lovin' our boy and making him feel special, it means the world to me.

AMAZING PROGRESS!!

In the past few days, we have made incredible progress. Jian is actually saying "no more Chinese, only English", he is also praying for everyone in our family at bedtime (too cute); he says "Dear Jesus, I pray for Jian, Andrew, Joshua, Hannah, Sarah, mom and dad....seven....together....good day....no fighting....fun. This week he memorized his first Bible verse James 4:7 so he can earn points in his class. He also told me he does not want the interpreter to come anymore to translate for him at church. AND HE SAID HE WANTS TO STAY HERE WITH US! It is truly amazing to see how far we have come in 5 1/2 months. Jian loves to sing (loudly), play the wii, build legos, watch TV, Bibleman, Star Wars, and to help with dinner.

On the medical front, Jian has received his AFO braces and wears them 22hrs per day. He may need to wear them for life. His clubfoot responded remarkably well to serial casting and he may not need surgery, if wearing the braces maintains the correction. Jian's balance has improved greatly with the braces and the frequency of falling has decreased from multiple daily times to several times a week!

We have visited the physical and occupational therapist for specific help with a few challenges. Jian has an incredibly strong gag reflex which affects his ability to brush his teeth, floss and eat certain foods. So we are working on "desensitizing" his mouth. We are also scheduled for a wheelchair fitting. Jian will not need this on a day to day basis but it is a necessity for extended walking when visiting the warehouse stores, zoo, fair, or similar events. I am feeling very excited for this appointment (mid July) soon I will not have to carry him when he gets too tired!

In physical therapy, his goals are to kick a ball (with power) and ride a bike. I can't wait to see him achieve both. Currently, balance is very difficult. At home, we are learning to bounce a ball back and forth. It takes his total concentration to do it. It is inspiring to watch him work so hard to do things I take for granted. Nothing like being inspired by your child.

For My Precious Jian

I heard this song on the radio and had to find the lyrics and artist. This is my prayer for my Jian.

Safe by Phil Wickham

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong it will never let you go
oh you're not alone

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with you always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

Recently, Jian told me through tears that people need to hurt him. I assured him that he is safe now and we will not hurt him, we love him. He eventually snuggled into my arms and cried. Then we prayed together and he said "thanks Mom". Jian continues to amaze me. He has been through more than I can imagine in his short life, he is a fighter, a survivor. He continues to struggle with being in the U.S. and asks if he can "go back home", usually at bedtime. However, our days are beginning to feel more "normal". Precious boy, I pray one day soon you will feel and know that this is your home.

Home for 4 months!

Our Dinner Helper!


Our daytime Jian!


Our bedtime Jian...


Playing lightsabers with brother-cast and all!

How have two months passed since my last post? I have thought about posting it just has not actually happened. Maybe because we have one computer and seven family members. Maybe because I am too tired at the end of the day. Maybe because it is challenging to process everything that has transpired. In reality, it is because of all three.

So what has been happening?? LOTS!!

First, Jian was diagnosed with spastic diplegia, a form of cerebral palsy, in addition to his left clubfoot. It affects his legs moderately and his arms very mildly. So this classifies him somewhere at the high end of mild to low end of moderate. It may be that Jian was born premature which is the most common cause of spastic diplegia or possibly oxygen deprivation during birth. Thankfully, it is not progressive(!!!) however it causes rigidity in muscles and joints and increased muscle tone. After a challenging time of searching for the proper resources to help him, I was led to the Spasticity Management Clinic at our local Children's Hospital. His full evaluation with the physical therapist, occupational therapist, and neurodevelopmental pediatrician is scheduled for April 6th.

Serial casting for his clubfoot started on March 8th. Wearing the cast brought back some not-so-fun memories from surgery in China. We change the cast weekly and the doctor has been very pleased with his progress at his older age. Yeah!! (Clubfoot is usually serial casted as an infant or hopefully by toddler age.) Jian is VERY vocal about removing his cast and we are the "show" to see each week as the cast is removed. The cast room is not a private room as there are at least 8 beds and several on-lookers each week. It is more comical than torturous-at least I hope I am correct. I am thankful I am physically able to carry Jian (although not for much longer) as the first two days in a new cast he tends to think he cannot walk as the muscles are being used and stretched in new, sometimes painful ways. Great for mommy/son bonding time! X-rays are scheduled for Monday to make sure the inside is looking as great as the outside. Eventually, we will know if additional surgery is needed and his AFO braces will be ordered for both feet.

Jian has lots of memories from his first 8 years in China. As he has been opening up and sharing his experiences, we have started the journey to healing with him. He is an amazing boy with determination, persistence, and the spirit of a warrior. We are blessed to call him SON!!

Home for two months!

I started this post a few days ago.....

I just want to say how much I truly LOVE our new son. We have been working through the challenges and it sure is hard work! Our days together continue to bring challenges new and old. However, many of our daytime moments are filled with love, laughter, and learning ( I am SO very thankful for these times) ; our evenings and nights continue to be our "struggle". It is as if a switch gets flipped inside Jian as bedtime nears. He becomes a different child-in action and attitude. It is during these times I hear "I hate you", "I not obey you", "you not my mom", "you foolish to take Chinese child to English", "China is my family", etc. Sometimes we are able to work through the uglies and other times it continues into the next day. He continues to need constant adult interaction in order to keep him busy. I feel we are building bridges and making progress however it is exhausting. I keep wondering how I can arrange for him to sleep before midnight so I can have a little break...

And this is what happened today!!!!


Jian drew this and brought it to me! Our WHOLE family including him! This is HUGE! He is holding his daddy's hand! And just to add to our great day he went to bed easily tonight and it was only 9:30pm!! Also, the past few days I have noticed his English comprehension is growing at an alarming rate. Today was actually fun! Thank you for your prayers! God is so faithful! Thank you Lord for today with our five kiddos!

Grace, patience, unconditional love..........

The last couple of days have been hard. I know I have read about other children rejecting their parents and I thought I was prepared. I was not nor am I prepared however God is faithful. Even when it is hard to hear "I am not your child"
God is faithful,
when you hear "you are not my mama"
God is faithful!
when you hear "I am not in family",
God is faithful!
when you hear "my family is China",
God is faithful!
when you hear "China is much better than the US",
God is faithful!
when you hear "you are malicious, hard hearted, cruel" after you have given all you have to give, been more patient than you ever have, loved more unconditionally than ever before, given up sleep, time, and personal dignity to nurture your new child-GOD IS STILL FAITHFUL!
Dear God, Thank you for leading me today-thank you for the song you gave me to sing to Jian telling him how we are fighting for his soul and how God WILL win, thank you for making all of us laugh and smile in the midst of the struggle, thank you for showing me how to diffuse Jian's mounting anger by telling him that no matter what I LOVE HIM even if he does not love me. I love you JianHui and I'm not about to give up-you can be stubborn but I can be more stubborn-you are our son-chosen-pursued-prayed over-you are God's workmanship-and it is He who gives you a future and a hope!

Blessings, connections, and chipping away at the language barrier

After concern over a few challenges, we finally connected with a few Mandarin speaking "friends". First, I found a post on Jian's orphanage yahoo group. A 12 year old girl from his orphanage joined her forever family in June and is doing AMAZINGLY well. She has offered translation services for parents who are having language challenges with their new children. She is fluent in both Mandarin and English and she is a total sweetheart.

-We had been working through Jian packing his bag to leave for China, yelling "no" in my face and swiping his belongings onto the floor in a heap-because he was upset over something(as if to say "there I don't care about these things and I don't want them either). I chose to let him keep his things in the heap without any emotion from me but I would not let him escape out the front door.-

Consequently, we spent over an hour on the phone with our new Mandarin speaking friend and her mother. I asked her to explain adoption to Jian as we have struggled for him to understand. He has days he is adamant that he is not "one of us". He has told me my hair color, skin color, and eye color are wrong if he is to belong here. He is adamant he is Dang JianHui. He often misses China terribly. Bedtime is hard-he just keeps saying "no go to bed-just a minute".

She was also able to tell me that Jian has a hard time hearing sometimes. It seems, in China, someone would help him with this challenge with some sort of medicine? So we will be checking with the doctor on this. Also, he feels when he plays his computer time that he is shortchanged. He says his siblings get more time. (we set a timer so each child is allowed the same amount of time). He told her he wanted a blue book bag and a red dictionary-the same one he had at school in China-of course-and the same one we tore the house apart looking for thinking it was a book from the library or one he had on his bookcase, the same one we worked for over an hour trying to translate his Chinese characters into some sort of communication amidst the mounting frustration, now I find out it was a book he had in China *sigh*-(...I am working on finding this with help from new friend *Gloria).

He does not like his English name Samuel. He wants a simple name. We tried several choices but he does not like any of them....I tried for Sam but it remains Jianhui. (Jian meaning to build, hui meaning shining or radiant) She also explained patience(waiting for your turn) and thinking of others. We are working on this as it is easy for him to dominate every minute without thinking of his four sweet siblings.

He also wants friends. He feels he won't have any because we do school at home.

We have VERY sweet bonding moments too. One night bedtime was especially hard. Jian started to cry. I wrapped him in a blanket and we rocked. I softly told him it is okay to be sad, to miss China, to want to go back, etc. We cried together. I told him everything I love about him. I told him how we chose him and how we fought for him. I am not sure how much he understood. After an hour, he crawled off my lap and said "okay go to bed now". The next morning he was especially affectionate. I daily receive many hugs, kisses, thank yous, and he tells me "good job-ah" when I repeat Chinese words correctly or make a yummy Chinese meal. He often tells me that he loves me too. WOW, HE IS A SPECIAL TREASURE!

On Sunday, we met new friend Gloria. She attends our church. She met Jian and talked to him in Mandarin. She is from Taiwan and is very interested in helping us translate for Jian in his class!! Blessings, blessings, blessings! She asked Jian why he does not want to go to bed. She then told us he has been having nightmares. I had no idea!?! Now, we have started a routine of rocking him while listening to praise music and praying specifically over his dreams before putting him in bed. I also told him to wake up mama if he is ever scared. He seems to love being rocked and it comforts him to be "mothered" as a younger child. This is great for bonding and attachment! He is such a precious little boy!

Greg also connected with a Mandarin speaking man from our church. He has a 2nd grade son named....Samuel! (Samuel does not speak Mandarin just the dad-I think).

Jianhui is doing fabulous. He is doing much better than I expected. I am in awe of the many adoptive parents who work through so much more than we have experienced because the hard days are just plain hard. For Jian, the language barrier is the most frustrating I think-it is difficult to be 8 and not know the ropes. It is challenging to grieve a BIG loss suddenly. It now appears that he knew we were coming but did not know when until the day we arrived. These kids are so resilient, so amazing and they have stolen my heart.

Hope this makes sense as I rambled on...

Home one month (and pictures for last post)!

Our first doctor appointment:height, weight, blood pressure, vision & hearing screen all with our awesome Mandarin interpreter-she was going to translate a written paper for us but Jian read it to her instead (after writing his name on the blackboard) she was impressed.






So much has happened and I have no time to post! I am sure all the moms of many can relate. Christmas was so much fun-Jianhui opened each gift with glee and brought each one to me. He had me carry them to his room where he hid them all under his bed. His favorite gift was a comic book we purchased in China for 10 yuan (goat and big, big wolf). It is now his new comfort item. If it is "lost" we all stop what we are doing and search for it! He carries it everywhere even to church with his new English-Chinese Bible.
Jian loves the camera! Not so much when he is in the picture but when he is taking the pictures. He orders us into groups so he can snap away. He is always taking pictures of me-in my jammies before my shower. Greg wonders how his new son gets away with it??
His English continues to progress. He repeats many things we say and is using English words appropriately as well as in humor. He continues to be a very thankful and polite boy-he often says thank you-ah mama, yes-ah please, and no thank you-ah.
We visited the orthopedic doctor this week and received some unexpected news. It seems that we are dealing with more than clubfoot. The doctor feels that Jian may have cerebral palsy. We are scheduled to see the neurologist at the end of the month. This would explain some of the challenges we have noticed with Jian's movement, balance, and agility. After a correct diagnosis with the neurologist, the orthopedist will cast his foot and order foot braces for him. The orthopedist was not committed to the diagnosis of clubfoot and is awaiting the neurologist report to make any future comments etc.
The language barrier continues to be our biggest struggle......I will post about this next time.