For My Precious Jian

I heard this song on the radio and had to find the lyrics and artist. This is my prayer for my Jian.

Safe by Phil Wickham

To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone

Have you heard of the One who can calm the raging seas
Give sight to the blind, pull the lame up to their feet
With a love so strong it will never let you go
oh you're not alone

You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with you always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms

Did you know that the voice that brings the dead to life
Is the very same voice that calls you to rise
So hear Him now He's calling you home
You will never be alone

These are the hands that built the mountains
the hands that calm the seas
These are the arms that hold the heavens
they are holding you and me

These are hands that healed the leper
Pulled the lame up to their feet
These are the arms that were nailed to a cross
to break our chains and set us free

Recently, Jian told me through tears that people need to hurt him. I assured him that he is safe now and we will not hurt him, we love him. He eventually snuggled into my arms and cried. Then we prayed together and he said "thanks Mom". Jian continues to amaze me. He has been through more than I can imagine in his short life, he is a fighter, a survivor. He continues to struggle with being in the U.S. and asks if he can "go back home", usually at bedtime. However, our days are beginning to feel more "normal". Precious boy, I pray one day soon you will feel and know that this is your home.

Home for 4 months!

Our Dinner Helper!


Our daytime Jian!


Our bedtime Jian...


Playing lightsabers with brother-cast and all!

How have two months passed since my last post? I have thought about posting it just has not actually happened. Maybe because we have one computer and seven family members. Maybe because I am too tired at the end of the day. Maybe because it is challenging to process everything that has transpired. In reality, it is because of all three.

So what has been happening?? LOTS!!

First, Jian was diagnosed with spastic diplegia, a form of cerebral palsy, in addition to his left clubfoot. It affects his legs moderately and his arms very mildly. So this classifies him somewhere at the high end of mild to low end of moderate. It may be that Jian was born premature which is the most common cause of spastic diplegia or possibly oxygen deprivation during birth. Thankfully, it is not progressive(!!!) however it causes rigidity in muscles and joints and increased muscle tone. After a challenging time of searching for the proper resources to help him, I was led to the Spasticity Management Clinic at our local Children's Hospital. His full evaluation with the physical therapist, occupational therapist, and neurodevelopmental pediatrician is scheduled for April 6th.

Serial casting for his clubfoot started on March 8th. Wearing the cast brought back some not-so-fun memories from surgery in China. We change the cast weekly and the doctor has been very pleased with his progress at his older age. Yeah!! (Clubfoot is usually serial casted as an infant or hopefully by toddler age.) Jian is VERY vocal about removing his cast and we are the "show" to see each week as the cast is removed. The cast room is not a private room as there are at least 8 beds and several on-lookers each week. It is more comical than torturous-at least I hope I am correct. I am thankful I am physically able to carry Jian (although not for much longer) as the first two days in a new cast he tends to think he cannot walk as the muscles are being used and stretched in new, sometimes painful ways. Great for mommy/son bonding time! X-rays are scheduled for Monday to make sure the inside is looking as great as the outside. Eventually, we will know if additional surgery is needed and his AFO braces will be ordered for both feet.

Jian has lots of memories from his first 8 years in China. As he has been opening up and sharing his experiences, we have started the journey to healing with him. He is an amazing boy with determination, persistence, and the spirit of a warrior. We are blessed to call him SON!!